I seem to suffer more from him being separated from him this time, than during his other journeys. Why so? The emptiness within me claims so much more room, calls for much more attention from me, and arrogates being a companion throughout almost the whole day. Has the bond become even stronger, leading me needing him more? Does this reflect some kind of measurement of how much (more) I love him?
Staying so close to him for three months, just us, as family, has indeed impacted our relation. This closeness somehow unveiled itself among all the daily life issues. It is much more prominent now.
Thinking about how to put those feelings into words, led me to this comprehension: I feel weak because I feel unprotected, vulnerable. Him as my sustainer is missing.
